Day 51: Short

Honestly,  I am too tired to write a lot  today. That’s a good thing! Lots done and now sleep is needed. 

I lived today. It keeps getting better. 

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Happy Day 50: Halfway There!!!

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You see that picture at the top of this website? It’s from the movie Rocky, when he runs to the top of the stairs and screams and cheers. As much as I love the montage that ends with him on the stairs, and I know that it isn’t real life, I still yearn for it. It’s day 50 for crying out loud! Shouldn’t there be something climactic?! I may yearn for it, but I know better.

David Foster Wallace saidin a now famous commencement address, much of life is tedium. “There happen to be whole, large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine and petty frustration.” His speech goes on to explain that you have a choice about how you think.  There is much more to the speech. If I could recommend one thing for everyone in the world to read, it would be this speech, but I digress.

The point is, much of my life will be tedious, uneventful, and boring as hell. Today was filled with it, but I still noticed little things that made the day special. I know that I beat the mindfulness drum often, but it is playing a huge role in making my life awesome. That… and forgiveness.

So it’s day 50. No banners or parties. No shots of tequila or Jager bombs.  Nope, just me in a quiet house, with two sleeping daughters, thankful for my life and what I have, and feeling very glad that I am taking these steps towards… awesomeness. And I know, if I continue this way, the months and years to come may literally have moments where I am actually shouting from the top of a mountain. Either way, I feel like I am winning.

I lived today. It was awesome! Happy Day 50!

 

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Day 49: Time

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Day 49 did not go as planned, but that was a good thing. I got a lot of unfinished business accomplished and feel stronger,safer and less concerned because of it. I had more plans for the day but, when I took a minute to sit down, I noticed my old computer sitting in a corner. I did some quick research and  bypassed the password, that I had forgotten, and found a treasure trove of old photos and videos. Well, my plans got set aside after that. I got lost in all that I found.

It was different though. My recurring thoughts were of  …time. I found pictures of friends I see everyday. I found old pictures of days long forgotten. All these moments. It warmed me inside. Most importantly, it made me realize how precious this life is.

I am near the 50 day mark. Every day has been special. I have grown and see new things about myself and others all the time.  It is as if I am returning to the eyes of a child, fascinated by so much, but with an older and, hopefully,  wiser mind.

Many people wish for the old days. I do sometimes too. But all those faces, the laughter, the smiles, they took me right to my present. I want so many more wonderful moments. Today was one of them.

What a day. I lived it. It was awesome. 

 

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Found Video 2006

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I finally got into my old computer. I found tons of old pictures and videos, including this gem from 2006. Almost ten years ago! I believe, if memory serves me,  I had just watched Blue Velvet  and was feeling inspired from the Dance Scene.  It was in celebration of No Pants Day, an old holiday I am not sure is around anymore. I think it made it to the front page of the official No Pants Day website.

nopantsbigger from E B on Vimeo.

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Days 46,47 and 48

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Today I’m going visual.  Here is a simple  representation of my plan.  Results and evaluations are below the chart. Screenshot 2015-04-26 15.47.50 The first 100 Days are broken down into three parts. That is what I felt worked for me. I could have, for example, gone week-to-week, or day-to-day.

Results and Evaluations: 

Health: I am down over 30 pounds and feeling more energy than I have in years. Running and eating right are things I will continue to do. I do plan on finishing 5 kilometers, without stopping, by the 100th day. I am comfortable with my eating habits and will continue with them. I feel good! Strength training and stretching will need more attention in the coming weeks.

Mind: My mind is much more in the present. Mindfulness has helped me move through my life in a very peaceful way. I am less stressed and notice the things around me more. There is more work to be done, but I am on the right path. When I wake up I feel grateful and excited about the day…most of the time. I could use more meditation and reminders to be in the present.

Money: This is a tough one. I have a budget and am sticking to it. The hardest part, since moving in November, was having to buy so many things that I gave away when I moved in with my ex. I’ve had to buy new utensils, appliances, furniture… you name it… almost everything.  It’s costly and makes budgeting tough, especially in this very expensive country in a one income household. Things are getting better though.  I like living simply and don’t feel the need to fill my house with lots of “stuff”. Minimalism makes me happy. Overall, the months ahead will be much better, as I have gotten most of what I need now.

Unfinished business: This includes ridding myself of relationships that hurt me, and things that I needed to personally deal with in order for my life to run more smoothly. I have completed around 80% of it. The other 20% is already planned for this and next week.

Step it up: The last 33 days will be to stick with the habits I have developed, and then go further. It may be to run more. It may mean biking more, or tougher strength training. Budget wise, maybe I will find areas that I can trim and save more. The last 33 days will be about putting it all together and making these changes a part of my life in a way that they become instinctive. I want them burned into my being. These habits will be who I am.

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The Next 100 Days of Awesome: It’s tough to say what it will be. The first 50 days of it will be spent on vacation with family and friends. As always, it will be so much fun. Sure, I’ll run and exercise there, take time to read and be mindful of my time. I also really want to take in as much as I can of the moments I have with all of these friends and family. I want to be there 100%.

The Third 100 Days of Awesome. – It’s exciting to think of the possibilities! Travel more? Closer friendships? New friends? Volunteering to help others? Writing a book? The possibilities are endless.

I can’t remember a time when I was so excited about my life, now and in the future. 

Today has been awesome. I lived today. 

 

 

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Days 44 and 45: Greatness

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The eye situation has improved dramatically and it is getting easier to look at the screen for longer periods of time. It is frustrating to want to do things while being stuck with a temporary disability. I missed work, couldn’t go shopping, missed a parents’ meeting and a bunch of other stuff.

I needed to make the best of it. I took time to think and write personal texts, two days of thoughts and reflections. I needed it. It slowed down my brain and put many concerns into manageable perspectives.  It has been enlightening and therapeutic. If you don’t write, I highly recommend you do.

On a side note, I am “chomping at the bit” to get out and run again. I also want to enjoy the beautiful weather we have been having…All in good time.

The one idea that has repeatedly come up, in my personal writing, is acceptance. I have a firmer acceptance of my life and those I love. I also have a greater understanding that, despite what some may think, I am pretty awesome and that it is ok to say it. 

I am a single dad, in a foreign country, taking care of two kids by myself. I have protected and fought hard to make sure they haven’t been damaged from their mother’s problems. The stories I could share! Perhaps, some day, I will make some of them public. Sure, the writing would suck, but it would make for some jaw dropping reading. The point is, I have had many tough days and expect there will be more to come.

I have come to the conclusion that I will no longer surround myself with people that don’t appreciate and accept me for who I am. Sure, we all say it, but do we mean it? How many people have you stuck with that hurt you over and over? How many times have you lied, to yourself or others, to keep from saying what you truly felt? I know I have done it.  Now I have deep desire to rip the weeds out of my life and continue forward with only the people who make my life richer.  As they say in every action movie,” I am getting too old for this shit.” My last fucks are gone for those who suck the joy out of life.

I lived today. It was awesome.  

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Days 42 and 43:

 

“We scarcely know how much of our pleasure and interest in life comes to us through our eyes until we have to do without them; and part of that pleasure is that the eyes can choose where to look. But the ears can’t choose where to listen.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin, Gifts

It started last night, just as the kids were heading to bed. My right eye felt irritated and burned a little. I figured, given that it was allergy season, it would be gone when I woke up the next morning. I was very wrong. This morning my eyes felt like the sun was shining directly into them. I fought to open them, but my eye muscles wouldn’t let me. Sight was painful. Small glimpses of my surroundings came in, along with excruciating pain.

It’s a little odd that I just finished watching the Netflix original Series “Daredevil” the night before.*

Temporary, I thought. After about 90 minutes I became concerned. Luckily, my daughter had not yet left for school and guided me to the emergency room which, thankfully, is only down the street. The doctor said that the bacterial infection I have could have been very bad if not treated quickly. A few hours later I was walking out of the eye doctor’s with prescription for eye drops and a sense of relief. It is still hard to see, but a pair of sunglasses helps. Things will get better.

So, crisis averted. It was great day. I didn’t freak out when not being able to see (hint: Mindfulness is really helping.). I also had a whole day with my daughter. We talked, laughed and hung out together. She guided me, my hand on her shoulder, through the streets of Drammen.

And, I will see again. I realized how precious something as simple as seeing is. It is strange. When I can see well enough, and go outside again, I am going to enjoy the sights of the new Springtime flowers, the blue sky, and the smiles on my children’s faces. Even this computer screen looks beautiful through the sunglasses I am wearing right now.

I am so thankful for everything I have.

I feel great.

I lived today. It was awesome. 

 

*Great show about a blind superhero.

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Days 40 and 41: Springtime

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This weekend I almost finished painting the porch. I worked 6 hours on it yesterday and it is looking mighty fine!

And.. Oh! Spring is here!  It’s now 72F(22C) outside. How can I not have an awesome day?

Today, a friend came over and we munched down lunchtime fajitas and had great conversation while enjoying the sun, food, and view. This porch is turning out to be my little paradise on the side the mountain. I envision weekend afternoons, falling asleep in the hammock, while reading a good book. I also see myself sitting out there, before work, enjoying a coffee and breakfast. Heaven.

I met my other neighbors, yesterday, who are from Canada. So, now I have a Mexican and a Canadian as next-door neighbors. My home, from this day forth, shall be called, “Little America“.

As for everything else? Things are going well. I’ll be running again this week, being mindful, biking to work, continuing to write, completing my other goals, and making each day count.

I lived well this weekend. I was here and made the most of my life. It was awesome.

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Day 39: Less of Me

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Short post today, promise. I am really tired.

I really don’t check my weight very often. I did in August and once, a month ago, on a wonky scale that kept giving me different readings. Today I used a good one.

My dad told me that one pound of fat has 200 miles of blood vessels in it. I googled it and, with the exception of one shady looking website, it looks to be true.* That means, in 9 months, I managed to give my heart 6600 miles less work to do.  That feels damn good to know. It also explains the rise in my energy levels.

I lived today. It was awesome. 

 

 

*If I’m wrong, please feel free to give me the facts.

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Amazing!!

I am down a little over 33 pounds since August. Extremely proud of myself. I don’t care about how my body looks, just how I feel. Well, I feel fantastic! 

The best part is, I have no problem with keeping the eating habits I have now. 

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