Days 77-81: Here Comes the Sun



Everything takes time. I am not losing weight really quickly. I am not just suddenly calm in my mind. My life isn’t suddenly in order. Everything takes time. Keeping track of it, focusing on it, and working each day is what is making the difference. I run out of patience, sometimes, and have to repeat to myself  that everything doesn’t happen over night. Good things take work and time.

May and June are extremely busy months and I have made progress and have had many setbacks. The setbacks have been really tough. Many of them are too personal to share on this website. Let’s just say, I have had some days where the tears are rolling down my face and I have to wipe them off, put on my “game face” and get back to life. I can be extremely hard on myself and need to stop it! Last night, just to feel a little better,  I had remind myself how much I have accomplished in my life, the things I have had to endure, and that I am still here on this earth and more fortunate than most.

First, the setbacks I will share. Time is limited for me now. There are so many things I “have” to do that finding the time has been a challenge. I have been lucky enough to have had people around who have helped me. I have friends that drive the kids to soccer practice and games. I have also had friends who have watched the kids for me so I get a moment to breathe. That I am thankful for. What I have noticed, when I am feeling the pressure and stress, is that I like to eat more than I should. Now, I don’t binge on chocolate and cake. I tend to side with raiding the refrigerator for leftover meals. That has been a struggle for me, especially at night.

The progress. My mind is a chaotic mess when there is so much to do. I have been actively working on meditation, twice a day, for the last couple weeks. It’s really difficult. It takes time and patience. It is helping to calm my mind. The jogging is going well too. I can run 4 kilometers now, no problem. June will get me to my goal of 5.

So what have I learned?

1. Set a time to build a habit. I know most people don’t like running in the morning, but I always have time at the beginning of the day. Starting the day with a good run also boosts my mood. Meditation is the same thing. I do it when I wake up and close to bedtime.

2. Be patient! 

3. Stop being so damn hard on myself!

4, Keep moving forward!

Some days/weeks/months can be a challenge. I need to accept it and roll with it.

I am living. 

My favorite version of this song. Cheers me up all the time. Sorry for the Spanish subtitles.

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